Life After Divorce











{November 18, 2008}   Kiss of Death

I have been attempting to keep this blog chronological to keep my compulsive mind happy, but I think I am going to have to jump around a bit.  Something happened the other day that I wanted to write about, but not for the first time.

I will start by saying that I am allergic.  To everything.  Ok… not really everything.  But my allergies are big time.  They are a serious problem.  I am one of the unlucky who is allergic to peanuts.  Now, when I say I am allergic… I don’t mean that I get a little irritation, or break out in a few hives.  If you know anyone with a peanut allergy – it is life or death.  I immediately get a mouth full of itchies, hives pop up, my breathing becomes labored and eventually my throat will swell shut.  I am very fortunate that my spidey sense for peanuts is ridiculously heightened.  I can smell them from across the house.  I will begin to react without ever ingesting them.  This, I am sure, has kept me alive for the last 32 years.  Everyone in my life knows about this allergy.  If they make the mistake, they don’t make it more than once.  My family and best friends are hyper-vigilant about keeping me out of harms way.

At least most of them…

Now let me tell you a little about Steve.  He adores peanuts.  He eats them constantly.  He is so sweet… he always offers to share them with me.  He will place the candy/nuts under my nose and say, “Here!  Want some?”  By that time, I am usually running for a Benadryl.  He is what you might call… a douchebag thoughtless.  He is forever eating peanuts in the house.  He also likes to sneakily drink my drinks behind my back.  So what happens?

I react.  Badly.  My mouth starts to itch.  My first question – “Steve, have you been eating peanuts??”  Him, “Huh?  Oh yeah… earlier.”  Thanks, asshole.  His response, “Oh… I forgot.”

Sunday night was the first time I had seen him in a week.  He has been traveling around the state with his dad.  When I got home… he gave me a kiss.  I noticed right away that my lips started swelling… followed by the itching.  Aw crap.  Thanks for that.  Thank God Benardyl still helps. 

But now, I feel like my immune system has been compromised and all of the other things that I can normally fight off are trying to get me.  I have gone to sleep at 9:30 pm the last two nights in a row, which is about 3 hours early for me.  I just keep thinking – How can I possibly stay married to a man who is SO thoughtless that he constantly puts me into unsafe situations??

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fancylori says:

This is awful. I mean truly awful. You know what I thought when I first heard about this.

But the way you write it is HYSTERICAL.

I love the douchebag crossthrough and “Now let me tell you a little about Steve.”

Bahahahahahha. OMG.

I’m sorry you feel bad. But thanks for making me laugh. Please feel better soon.



a0m0y7 says:

so sorry that someone would be so careless. How many times would it take for a normal person to remember…uh one!!!!



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