The One-Armed Bandit

It was now the first week in October, and I still hadn’t heard from Steve.  Fuck it, I said.  I put myself back on the market.  After a few days, I met a guy online, Darryl, and started talking to him.  He asked me if I was seeing anyone and I told him that I had been seeing a guy, but that I hadn’t heard from him in weeks and didn’t expect to ever hear from him again.  I asked him if he was single.  He told me he was 100% single and unattached.  Great!  We made a plan to meet up at my work (by this time I was working a second job and going to school, so I didn’t have a ton of time) to see if we wanted to go out sometime. 

When he showed up, he had one arm in a sling.  I asked what happened, and he told me that it was an injury as a result of a motorcycle accident.  We made a date to hang out at his house after work.  I got there and it was pretty late.  We hung out in the living room and one thing led to another (I was young… give me a break).  I left after that.  I talked to him a few more times, but nothing else ever happened. 

A few days later…. amazingly… Steve called.  He apologized for being an ass and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out.  I was thrilled.  No guy had EVER called back once we stopped talking.  Let’s say I probably wasn’t in the best place, self-esteem wise, so I jumped at the chance.  I forgot all about Darryl… until…

One day, probably mid-November I walked into Steve’s apartment and saw some pictures sitting on his counter from Halloween at his aunt’s house.  I was flipping to the pictures and came to one…

“Hey, that’s Darryl!” I said.  Have you ever had one of those moments where as soon as the words escape your lips, you are grasping at them with all your might – hoping and praying that you can swallow them before anyone else hears them??  Yeah.  That was me.  Steve looked at me and said, “How do you know Darryl?”  I mumbled something, but I don’t remember what.  He told me that Darryl had been dating (and living with – thank you very much) Steve’s good friend, Melissa, for about 3 years.  Ugh.  Knife right to the gut.  Asshole liar!  I had been totally upfront and honest with him about my situation.  Jerk.  Then he says to me, “You know, I don’t trust the guy.  I wonder if he cheats on Melissa?”  As if an imaginary hand was working the puppet strings above my head I slowly nodded “Yes.”  I was horrified at my own inability to even stay silent and say nothing.

I think it took Steve a minute to put two and two together and realize that I had slept with Darryl.  I explained the situation – That I never thought I would hear from Steve again after 4-6 weeks of little to no communication – That I was honest about my situation – That this guy was a dreadful liar in a committed relationship.  It wasn’t fun.  Steve was really understanding for my part.  He knew he had behaved badly and understood why I would have gone out with someone else.  He was furious on behalf of his friend and what a scumbag she was hooked up with.  He kept pondering whether he should tell her or not.  My feeling was HELL NO.

About a week later, I got a call from Steve during the day telling me that he had called Melissa and told her.  Dammit.  Shockingly, she didn’t believe me and thought I was lying.  Right… then how do I know that the one-armed bandit can pop off a bra faster that I can with TWO fully functioning hands?  From this point on, life around his friends was misery.  To this day, these idiots are still together.  He knows the truth.  She thinks I am a crazy liar (DENIAL!) and now they are married with a kid.  Talk about life in the shit lane… Ugh.

A very important conversation was had this day, which had never been had before.

     Steve:  From this point on… 100% monogamy… ok?

     Me:  Ok, that sounds like a plan to me

And it did sound like a very good plan.